Isn't if funny how sometimes we don't realise thing until they are pointed out to us, even though they are staring us right in the face. Saying Hello, look, I'm here. Helllllllllloooooooooooooooooooo.
This afternoon I was ironing, seriously for the first time ever. (I'm lucky that my MIL insists on doing it for us. But she is sick at the moment). Anyway, my darling hubby came and said "Netty what demon has possessed you?". In other words, "why the hell are you ironing when you hate it so much". I just felt like it.
Since the new year my house has been 10 times cleaner then it usually is. I am washing and vacumning the floor every night, scrubbing windows, mowing lawns, and today.. ironing.
Usually I am not a very domestic person. Aaron pointed out this afternoon that it is because I don't want to be like my Mother.
My whole life all my Mother ever did was clean the house and look after the kids. It was her job. Her life. All she had. She would be cleaning all day every day until she went to bed. And later in life it's all she complains about. That all her life she had to clean everything and she's done her fair share. She has so much regret for her past because she never had anything for herself but cleaning and looking after us kids.
Aaron delightfully pointed out today that I hate cleaning so much because I don't want to be miserable like my Mother was. I am afraid that I will turn out all bitter and resentful if all I do is clean and look after the kids.
He hit the nail on the head. I never really realised that until he said it. I am afraid I will be miserable and regret my life.
And then I realised I have something my Mother didn't have. A loving supportive husband who couldn't give a shit if he came home to a spotless house or a house with toys scattered all over the place, a dirty floor and pile of dishes still in the sink.
I am more then a cleaner and mother. I am me. I am Annette.
So, now to find some things for me to do for me.