Wednesday, August 17, 2011

I have missed you

It has been a while since I had this feeling. This feeling of pure happiness. Things finally seemed to have just got into a groove. The kids are growing and learning new things every day, my marriage is going forward in leaps and bounds. It has almost been a year since I said "I do."

Over the last couple of months I took a step back and tried to look at my life from a different point of view. I knew I wanted to make some changes. So I did. I started spending more quality time with the kids. We did puzzles, painted, made castles out of blocks, did crafts, played with bouncy balls, ran around the back yard, tickled, cooked, laughed and enjoyed each and every moment we had together. I introduced the naughty corner to the kids as a new form of discipline. I do not want my kids growing up with attitude and thinking they are the boss of the house. I started to plan meals. I organised chores. Didn't leave the washing piling up in baskets for a week before I got stuck into it. Instead I do a bit each day. And, i have put my little boy back into his cloth nappies now that we have some warmer weather.

Life is good! I am loving it. Loving my family. Loving the possibilities that lie ahead. Finally I wake up each morning and look forward to the day ahead. I think about the good things instead of the things I don't want to do.

I am happy again. Truly happy. And I love it!

Wednesday, March 30, 2011



Friday, March 25, 2011

I can do it. I am a good Mum.

I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. I am a good Mum. I am a good Mum. I am a good Mum. I am a good Mum. I am a good Mum. I am a good Mum. I am a good Mum.

That is what I have been telling myself for the last couple of weeks. The next 3 months are going to be a massive challenge for me. But I can do it. And I will do it. I have no choice.

What am I doing? I am looking after my children by myself for 3 months straight. No more sleep overs an Nan and Pops. No more breaks when they are doing my head in. I am going to do it on my own. Well, with Aaron. When he isn't working at least.

Aaron's parents are going to travel around Australia for 3 months. I am excited for them. They deserve it. They are going to have a great time. Why am I freaking out about this? Well, because they are my life savers. That is why. They are the ones I call when I am going to have a break down and need a break from the kids. They are the ones who take the kids for a night so I can relax and have time for me. So I can get a decent sleep at night.

3 months without this is going to be a massive challenge. But I am their mother. I can look after them myself. And I will do a good job. (I hope). I should be able to do a good job. I am their mother. But, being a Mother really is the hardest job in the world. Nobody actually realises this until they become a mother.

So here is hoping I survive the next 3 months. I may gain 20 pounds and gain a few extra gray hairs. But I will have done it, and done it on my own.
I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. I am a good Mother. I am a good Mother. I am a good Mother. I am a good Mother. I am a good Mother.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Cut me like a knife, rip out a part of me.

who knew the words of a 7 year old could cut through you like a knife? I guess the beauty (if you could call it that) of a young child is that they tell it like it is because they don't realise how hurtful some things they say can be.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Not enough

Sometimes, I feel like I am not doing enough as a Mother. Like I could do things better. I know I don't have enough patience. I know I need more patience. I wish I knew how I could be more calm and collected. I get frustrated far to easily and find myself yelling at the kids. I know this is stupid, it is not going to help/fix things. It is only going to show them that yelling is what you do when something isn't going right. I don't want my kids to think this. I need to start setting a better example. I just wish I knew how to do it.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Where are you?

I see you standing there. But it's like you are not there. You are here. But you are not here. What happened? Where have you gone? I miss your smile in the mornings and your phone calls at night. What happened? Have I done something wrong? I want you back, not this person standing in your place. I want for you to want to be here. Not wish you were anywhere but. What happened? Will you ever be back?

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Monday Fundays

So my two little cherubs started day care yesterday. They are going to be going every Monday. Which means Mondays are now going to be MY day. So, they are going to be my Fun Day. The day I do whatever the hell I want to do without worrying about everyone else. 

 These days are going to be filled with watching the girly movies and tv series which Aaron refuses to watch with me. Scrapbooking. Shopping. Beading and doing my hair, waxing, tinting, dyeing (sp?) and nails. And catch up with friends.
So here is to Monday Fundays. The days where I regain my sanity. Miss my babies like crazy. But think of no-one but myself.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Hit the nail on the head

Isn't if funny how sometimes we don't realise thing until they are pointed out to us, even though they are staring us right in the face. Saying Hello, look, I'm here. Helllllllllloooooooooooooooooooo.

This afternoon I was ironing, seriously for the first time ever. (I'm lucky that my MIL insists on doing it for us. But she is sick at the moment). Anyway, my darling hubby came and said "Netty what demon has possessed you?". In other words, "why the hell are you ironing when you hate it so much". I just felt like it.

Since the new year my house has been 10 times cleaner then it usually is. I am washing and vacumning the floor every night, scrubbing windows, mowing lawns, and today.. ironing.

Usually I am not a very domestic person. Aaron pointed out this afternoon that it is because I don't want to be like my Mother.

My whole life all my Mother ever did was clean the house and look after the kids. It was her job. Her life. All she had. She would be cleaning all day every day until she went to bed. And later in life it's all she complains about. That all her life she had to clean everything and she's done her fair share. She has so much regret for her past because she never had anything for herself but cleaning and looking after us kids.

Aaron delightfully pointed out today that I hate cleaning so much because I don't want to be miserable like my Mother was. I am afraid that I will turn out all bitter and resentful if all I do is clean and look after the kids.

He hit the nail on the head. I never really realised that until he said it. I am afraid I will be miserable and regret my life.

And then I realised I have something my Mother didn't have. A loving supportive husband who couldn't give a shit if he came home to a spotless house or a house with toys scattered all over the place, a dirty floor and pile of dishes still in the sink.

I am more then a cleaner and mother. I am me. I am Annette.

So, now to find some things for me to do for me. 

Monday, January 3, 2011

Clean clean clean

How awesome does it feel to clean your house from top to bottom, then look back and feel that sense of accomplishment. Such a shame it only lasts till the kids get home.

 Alyssa and Alex have spent the afternoon/night at Nan and Pops so I really got stuck into the housework. It looks great for a change. I even reorganised my craft desk and cleaned off the mountain of junk from the pool table. And I decided to write a roster. Designated chores for certain days. Lets see how long I stick to it for. Would be fantastic if I could. It's good to stay on top of the cleaning. I find having a clean decluttered house makes me feel better. Having the house a mess literally makes me feel depressed.

Aaron told me that is has been scientifically proven that mentally ill people feel better if they are in a clean/tidy environment. Perhaps he thinks I am nutty?

So... here is to my clean, decluttered, tidy house! Until the kids gets home!